Mum's Advising Mums

I've been thinking about this post for a while.  It never seemed quite finished but now I think perhaps I'm not supposed to finish it.  Perhaps YOU are...

Remember in May I went to the Christian Women's Conference.  Well after that I was thinking that it'd be pretty cool if there was something like that for Mum's.  Just Mum's, not "women" generally.  Not that big though because it would be near impossible to get through what you wanted to get through.  Much like a typical day as a Mum I guess, but when you are taking time out from your normal day to learn about how you can better connect with your kids or get some useful advice about dealing with particular ages & stages you want it to be time well spent.

Then a few weeks ago I read this post.  I quite like the blog 71 Toes.  I've been quite busy dealing with sick kids, and trying to catch up with things in between, but  I thoroughly enjoyed this post.  Especially the first lot of dot points in the post.

They called it a Motherhood Retreat. 

I think it sounds like a fabulous idea.  They ALL stayed at someones house.  I can't imagine anyone having a house big enough to accommodate all those women, however, it wouldn't be that difficult to rent a furnished house for a long weekend and find a bunch of cheap hotel rooms nearby to fit everyone in.

Each of the women seemed to take a turn to present 'something' of interest to everyone regarding motherhood.  I think the fact that each of them prepared information to share is really great.  It says to me that they really are interested in being better mothers.  They are seeking out information to help themselves and other Mum's to grow in their roles.  After reading the post I'd really like to take a look at the book Your Child's Self Esteem.

Don't you think it would be AWESOME to participate in something like this.  You contribute but also learn!!  I think I would LOVE it!!

Bye for now, K

Rice Rice Rice

I recently decided that 3 yr old Miss Pants (short for Cranky Pants) needed to improve her behaviour.  Actually I've known that for some time but I had no idea how to do that.  She is number three in the family but I have no idea how to "manage" her. I've been in contact with a couple of people lately that don't actually have TV's in their houses and I know a friend of mine limits the time their children watch TV to before 9am & after 5pm (sometimes recording shows outside that time bracket) so I decided that perhaps Miss Pants could do with LESS TV time & more Mummy/imaginative play time.

After school drop off on the first morning of limiting TV time, I gave her half a cup of rice to play with in a plastic bowl & some of the toys from the bath.

It was a HIT!!

From there I decided to make coloured rice to play with.  Years ago, when I did Child Care at TAFE, I had made some for a music themed task.  I couldn't remember how to do it though so I googled.  I found this which provided a few different ideas.

We took a little walk to the local supermarket, purchased a cheap 2kg bag of rice & some food colouring & came home to get colouring.

I grabbed a couple of baking trays.  Lined them with foil.  Grabbed an aluminium mixing bowl, a measuring cup and a spoon then gathered what I needed... Rice, White Vinegar and Food Colouring

This was SUPER easy to do.

I put 1/4 cup of vinegar in the bowl, added the food colouring, then added 1/2 cup of uncooked rice.  Now, the amount of food colouring varied but I had been reading that some people used about 8 drops.  I'm guessing it may depend on the brand you use but I ended up using 20 - 30 drops depending on the colour we were trying to achieve.  Miss Pants chose the colours we used this time.

So we added the rice and gave it a stir for a few minutes.  Seriously, it wouldn't have been any longer than about 5 minutes. (Be very careful not to make a mess because it'll be difficult to remove.  It probably won't come out of clothing either.)

Carefully drain the water off (or use a fine strainer if you have one) then spread the rice out on the prepared tray to dry.  We went with the leave-it-in-the-sun-to-dry option and ducked off to pre school with a book order while we waited for it to dry.  When we got back I gave it a bit of a stir and found it almost dry, so we had lunch while we waited and then she was off to play!

I should really just add though that if you are anal about keeping your carpet clean, do NOT let this be an indoor activity.  I though, realise that our carpet could not only do with cleaning, but also replacing, so I'm pretty cool with it.

Seriously, this has entertained her for HOURS over the week.  Even Mr Magoo & H have enjoyed playing with it.  Over the week the bag has reduced slightly in size though.  Some of it has been vacuumed up because try as we might it is really hard to pick it all up off the carpet.  Her tea set & cooking utensils have been used to play too.  We made some little shakers with leftover plastic eggs from Easter as well.  Rice really does make some pretty cool sounds.

Now, I need to come up with something else for her to do.  Any ideas????

We might make some windmill/pinwheel thingies this week...

Bye for now, K

An update on REST TIME

Just quickly I thought I'd let you know how things are going with Miss Pants.  Although I didn't receive any help on ideas for dealing with Miss Pants (except from Mario's wife.  you know who you are), I did follow through with minimising her TV hours & MAN does it make a difference!!

I had no idea how much of a difference it would make to her general behaviour!  True, I have had to play more of an active role in parenting, but that in itself is FANTASTIC I have to say.

One day I did let her watch an episode of Play School but it was on my iPad so I knew we wouldn't be tempted to watch anything else or leave the tele on "just because".  Instead of having the TV for background noise we've been listening to music.  Predominantly new Christian CD's I've bought or borrowed, but still some mainstream stuff too.  Kids and adults music.

Oh & I let her watch Toy Story 3 today because she is sick.  She missed out on Pre-school yesterday AND Pip Squeaks today, so I thought she could have a little rest this afternoon and watch one of her favourite movies.  She fell asleep before it was time to do the school pick up.  I knew she needed some rest. Lol.  She'll miss swimming tomorrow too.  I can't wait to deal with that little let down, but it shouldn't be as bad as todays.

Perhaps in my next post I'll share something that has been taking up LOADS of time, INSTEAD of the TV :)

Bye for now, K

Rest Time

Oh how I miss Miss Pants having rest time in the afternoons.  Actually, I didn't intend this post to be about her but it was the first thing that appeared on the screen.  After such a big break from the blog I had so much I wanted to get out but she is closest to my heart at the moment and it is taking its toll.  The blog title is kind of double sided too.  Sometimes I really find myself needing a rest from her.

She is number three child in our family but Lordy Loo she presses my buttons like no other.  I often wonder if it is because she is so much like me.  I have made the comment to my Dad that the stubbornness has gotten stronger with each generation and it has certainly peaked with this child.  Me being stubborn and pig headed myself find it quite difficult to deal with her, but there MUST be a way!  Even my mother in law has trouble with her & she is kind of like the child whisperer.  Lol.

You know, people keep saying how cute she is but in all honesty I could just cry sometimes. I really could.  I almost feel like screaming sometimes.  I feel as though she is wearing a mask that only I can see through. 

Some people say she has a wonderful imagination which is a gift but I mostly see that she has become a liar.  At THREE she can stand there and straight-facedly tell a lie.  Not just making up a story, but actually lie.  YES, she does make up any number of stories in a day, but it really does go beyond that.

What makes this all even worse for me is that she is my daughter...  My only daughter...  I wish I had a better relationship with her...  I pray that I may find the strength and ability to cope with her strong will and see the good in it everyday rather than the opposite (YES, there are tears blurring my vision right now)...  I pray that she will learn to put her strength to fabulous use in her later years but that she may learn to use it appropriately (with lots of help from Mr C I think, 'cause I haven't mastered this by a long shot!!).  I have asked my mother if my memory of my childhood is all wrong, because I was sure I was NEVER that bad.  She agreed with me.  She's never met a child like her either.  I'm starting to wonder whether there is more to it.  Perhaps I should ask for an assessment at pre-school.  Perhaps I'm just over thinking things AGAIN.  I DO have a tendency to do that after all.

I'm thinking I may have to take a leaf out of my friends book and limit her TV time.  I'm not sure what my friend limmits her kids TV time too exactly but she is certain it has changed her children/s behaviour for the better.  Off course in doing so it will mean I'll have to spend time with her more.  Much more I imagine.  It would be good and bad off course.  Perhaps it would make me appreciate the time I have alone, or at least to myself, more.  I honestly don't know, but it has GOT to be worth a try!!

If anyone has suggestions or ideas for me PLEASE share!!  Leave a comment or email me if you know my address.  I need help with this one guys.  PLEASE...

I know I've probably been scarily honest but that's me!  You know it.  I know it.  It just doesn't normally come out with such emotion.  I guess if you read this and thought I seemed upset you'd be right.  I don't often show emotion, but I ALWAYS try my hardest to be honest (even when I do get distracted half way through telling you something to fill you in on another strain of the story).

So that's it, I'm gonna hit publish in a second, and then I'm going to try & come up with a much happier positive post to share.  I'm not gonna proof read, because I'll probably delete too much that has really come from my stretched, tired heart.

Bye for now, K

School Holiday Sanity

With the Easter Holidays just around the corner for us (and for some they have already begun) I thought I'd share a couple of blog posts with you.  Perhaps they'll make your School holiday time easier, or at least a little less...pressured, for want of a better word.  The pressure off course comes entirely from ourselves!  I'm not generally one of those Mum's that prepares for School holidays by stocking the fridge with bottles of wine.  I wouldn't even say I'm one of those Mum's that LOVES school holidays and having the kids home with me 24/7, but I guess I'm a happy "inbetweener".  If I feel organised and prepared I breeze through.  If not, well, let's just say I often find myself ducking for cover FROM myself. Not a good thing for any of us.

This holidays I have oodles of craft things in the pipeline.  Heaps of Easter craft things (which I really should have started weeks ago, but I'm sure the kids won't mind dragging it out), some general craft & even some Autumn craft things to work on.  Even as I type this the kids are working on decorating some paper easter eggs with buttons, ribbon, Easter stamps, stamp markers, coloured paper, glittery pom poms, coloured pencils and hopefully a little imagination of their own (I am resisting the strong urge to "show" them how to do it).

Even with all the ideas I have already, I came across this book at Woolworths while shopping for a few Easter eggs today, and couldn't leave it sitting on the shelf. It has some cute ideas for treats that would be more appropriate for Spring, so I can look forward to that too. 

So, those posts I wanted to share...

This post MAY help you stay Clean & Organised...  I have only been "trying" to stick to the 4 daily tasks (and anyone who has visited my house will know how much trouble I have with clutter). I was already MOSTLY sweeping the floors on a daily basis anyway, but sometimes you just need to hear it, or in this case, read it, to actually have that "Oh yeah" moment of realisation.

This post is the first in a series of five this week from Naomi at Seven Cherubs.  It deals with improving self esteem as a mother.  Even without the school holidays to deal with this would be a GREAT series for ANY Mum to read. (There is also a vlog on her site where she talks about her own disagnosis of PND.  I have her permission to share it with you but I'll do that some other time.  Feel free to go and find it now though if you feel yourself being lead in that direction.)

Well, they've finished their eggs now, so I'd better go & clean up some mess! Lol.

Bye for now, K

 

  

Bad Baby, BAD

As you may have read, we have four children.  The youngest is still a baby.  He’s nearly 3 months old already. 

People often ask if he is a Good Baby.

Is there really such a thing as a bad baby? Really, it implies that babies can be naughty.  He’s not NAUGHTY.  It’s not something he knows how to do.  He can’t make a decision to do something that I may have otherwise taught him not to do or say.

So, here’s some little bits of GOOD about our newest Little Man. 

Good birth weight.  4580g

Good Appetite.  He feeds approximately every 2 hours REGARDLESS of what I do to try & hold him off, but he does give me SOME relief at night by going about 5-6 hours between feeds. (Remembering that this means from the start of one feed to the start of the next.)

Good Set of Lungs.  The two steroid injections I had at 32 weeks gestation helped with that & has resulted in his...

...Nice big voice.  Which may or may not affect my hearing in the long run, but hopefully it’ll continue to help him keep/get himself heard.  He does after all have three siblings to compete with.

I found this pic here, it is not Little h, though there are similarities.  Namely the crying...

So, in case you were wondering, he does NOT feed every four hours, he does NOT just sit & smile at me when he is awake, and he’s NOT such a good sleeper.  He does NOT sleep through the night.  Am I tired? No not really.  I’d call it EXHAUSTED!! I know things will get better as he gets older & although I hate to sound as though I'm wishing our lives away I'm really looking forward to him getting a bit older.  At this stage, even a month makes a difference.

Oh, and keep in mind too that mothers with good OR bad babies can suffer from Post Natal Depression (PND) & will more than likely NOT like to be asked "Is he/she a good baby?", regardless of their answer.  It may just be another source of Mummy Guilt for them.  I will share what I know about PND at a later time. When I feel more able.  I promise. 


Bye for now, K

The Missing Parent...

...Is Me

It is hard to discuss issues you may have as a parent when one parent is distracted... But when you need to talk about things while not in earshot of your children, MAKE the time!!

Lately I've been feeling that I'm not being the best parent I can be. We have four children and I don't feel like I'm doing a good enough job!  There are a whole heap of emotions that go with this feeling (making me an emotional wreck). It makes me want to learn, and put into practise, what I can do differently.  Then I spend hours researching parenting books and websites so that I don't have to read through all the drivel to get to the good bits. And you guessed it, this results in further guilt & even more time wasted that should be spent actually parenting.  I spoke briefly with my husband about this who said I couldn't approach it that way.  I asked what he meant and he said that you can't just do it like that.  It turns out you can! You don't just walk into a work place and know what to do.  You talk to people, you read things, and you have training. So why should it be any different with parenting? I mean it is MORE than a full time job for many of us.  Why not try to be the best you can be? After all, it is our own kids furtures that depend on it.  Honestly, who can say they didn't read a single thing about pregnancy & childbirth, or attend a single ante-natal class, or talk to a single person about their experiences?  So why should it be any different with actually raising the child?  You take on board all the information you can & then adapt bits to suit.   

Taking the littlest ones to play group, music, kinda gym or any number of other activites aimed at infants to pre schoolers (& their carers) is an excellent start, but at times I just don't feel like leaving the house.  Sometimes I don't feel like having other kids influence them in ways that I don't really appreciate.  I mean, that's what school is all about isn't it?!  Still, I will do some of these things because, quite frankly, they are a great place to speak to other parents about their experiences, their parenting style, and to share tips & advice.

It is also important to make time for ourselves.  Often as parents, particularly the main care giver, we put everyone & everything else first.  There's soooo much to do as a parent whether you are working or not.  Unfortunately the needs of ourselves usually get put aside till last, or completely forgotten.  I know I sew occasionally but I'd hardly call it ME time.  Especially when I have children who seem to interrupt me constantly.  It's the same when I'm on the phone.  As soon as it rings it's as though a little switch gets flicked and everything becomes so important that they have to tell me straight away. Am I right or am I right?  For me has become incredibly important to make time for exercise.  Not entirely sure how I'm going to do that yet but I know I need to.  I feel better when I do & that flows on to everyone else in the family including Mr Creator.  We've been discussing options to fit in exercise.  I personally feel that it is important for the kids to see me/us exercise too.  You know, "What you see is what you learn".    

Other than that I don't know what WE as parents, or I, can do differently at this very minute, but I feel that we need more "family moments". You know, “doing stuff” as a family, rather than a bunch of people that live in the same house and just sit around bored or agitated all the time. (I quite enjoyed our little family trip Graze Brasserie a few weekends ago, and I think the rest of the family did too. But, we still need to “do stuff" more often.  You know, sometimes we go on picnics & it doesn't always feel that we're connecting as a family. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's like I'm not all there or something. It's a bit like going to the park. It just doesn't do it for me. I do get in & play with them but I spend a lot of my time worrying about them falling or getting hurt in some other way (especially since one trip to the park resulted in a trip to emergency after a fall/bump to the head & a bit of memory loss).  I'm thinking that squishing us all on the lounge in front of a family movie with a big bag of popcorn on a rainy Sunday afternoon would be lovely. Or an afternoon stroll along the pathways around a local wetland.  Perhaps they don't though. Perhaps I should ask what they'd all like to do.

What would your suggestions be?

Bye for now, K