Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Rest Time

Oh how I miss Miss Pants having rest time in the afternoons.  Actually, I didn't intend this post to be about her but it was the first thing that appeared on the screen.  After such a big break from the blog I had so much I wanted to get out but she is closest to my heart at the moment and it is taking its toll.  The blog title is kind of double sided too.  Sometimes I really find myself needing a rest from her.

She is number three child in our family but Lordy Loo she presses my buttons like no other.  I often wonder if it is because she is so much like me.  I have made the comment to my Dad that the stubbornness has gotten stronger with each generation and it has certainly peaked with this child.  Me being stubborn and pig headed myself find it quite difficult to deal with her, but there MUST be a way!  Even my mother in law has trouble with her & she is kind of like the child whisperer.  Lol.

You know, people keep saying how cute she is but in all honesty I could just cry sometimes. I really could.  I almost feel like screaming sometimes.  I feel as though she is wearing a mask that only I can see through. 

Some people say she has a wonderful imagination which is a gift but I mostly see that she has become a liar.  At THREE she can stand there and straight-facedly tell a lie.  Not just making up a story, but actually lie.  YES, she does make up any number of stories in a day, but it really does go beyond that.

What makes this all even worse for me is that she is my daughter...  My only daughter...  I wish I had a better relationship with her...  I pray that I may find the strength and ability to cope with her strong will and see the good in it everyday rather than the opposite (YES, there are tears blurring my vision right now)...  I pray that she will learn to put her strength to fabulous use in her later years but that she may learn to use it appropriately (with lots of help from Mr C I think, 'cause I haven't mastered this by a long shot!!).  I have asked my mother if my memory of my childhood is all wrong, because I was sure I was NEVER that bad.  She agreed with me.  She's never met a child like her either.  I'm starting to wonder whether there is more to it.  Perhaps I should ask for an assessment at pre-school.  Perhaps I'm just over thinking things AGAIN.  I DO have a tendency to do that after all.

I'm thinking I may have to take a leaf out of my friends book and limit her TV time.  I'm not sure what my friend limmits her kids TV time too exactly but she is certain it has changed her children/s behaviour for the better.  Off course in doing so it will mean I'll have to spend time with her more.  Much more I imagine.  It would be good and bad off course.  Perhaps it would make me appreciate the time I have alone, or at least to myself, more.  I honestly don't know, but it has GOT to be worth a try!!

If anyone has suggestions or ideas for me PLEASE share!!  Leave a comment or email me if you know my address.  I need help with this one guys.  PLEASE...

I know I've probably been scarily honest but that's me!  You know it.  I know it.  It just doesn't normally come out with such emotion.  I guess if you read this and thought I seemed upset you'd be right.  I don't often show emotion, but I ALWAYS try my hardest to be honest (even when I do get distracted half way through telling you something to fill you in on another strain of the story).

So that's it, I'm gonna hit publish in a second, and then I'm going to try & come up with a much happier positive post to share.  I'm not gonna proof read, because I'll probably delete too much that has really come from my stretched, tired heart.

Bye for now, K

1 comment:

  1. I think I was a little like that, with a little less enthusiasm though.

    I recall that i spun tales up until high-school... I should ask my mother what she did to cope...

    Looking back, I am quite ashamed of my lies, but I also think that I was trying to express my imaginary life through the spinning of tales. I often did not realise i was lying until after the event. I think I was trying to make my life more interesting, and more exciting.